So after the Def Lep tour I took a flight up to Yorkshire for a few days to see my Mom and catch up with a couple of my best mates.. Hadn't been back to my birth place in over two years since Spencer lost his fight with leukemia... Anyway, understandably I was here under much better circumstances than previously, the weather was nice, it was relatively warm by English summer standards and all the trees had foliage.... Smashing! Mom picks me up at the airport and after a short drive to chez Mom we're off for a pub lunch and a pint. Nice return and a traditionally frosty greeting from the bloke behind the bar... Dunno where customer service has gone these days but it obviously took off with the barman's humor bypass surgery...

Spent the next few days catching up with some old friends and hanging out with my Mom... It was strange being back. After so long in the United States I feel completely like a foreigner in the UK. Time stands still for no man I guess and people and places change. Everything has a strange sense of familiarity of course but the day to day things are different. Saw my mates Staffy and Kev and had a great night out at the pubs with them. Dazzling Daz who also went to school with Spen and I turned up at the pub rather toasty for the early time of night which was funny. Had a blast catching up with the guys and telling tales of yore, even ran into some old faces from as far back as middle school 25 years ago! Some of them I hardly recognized but it sure was nice to catch up after so long.


Took a morning to myself the day before I left and went to the other side of town to the graveyard to visit Spencer's grave. It's hard to describe the way one feels standing over your best friends grave looking at a headstone bearing his name and the years of his lifetime.... Surreal. On one hand I remember clearly the day of his funeral and on the other I can't believe that my best mate has been gone for over two years now. Even today I still feel like a big part of me is missing because we were robbed of Spencer. Swapping stories about him with his other mates is a great healer though and for that I am grateful.

The four days passed quickly. Was a great working trip with the Def Lep guys and seeing my Mom and best friends was a complete bonus.

Long long plane ride home, delayed two hours getting away from Manchester, delayed at Newark so my flight instead of landing home at 6pm ended up being half past midnight.... Absolutely exhausted but Daisy Buttons was sure glad to see her Daddy!

I've come to dislike this time of year very much. Today marks four years since my Father "Alec" slipped away and left us. It was a cold and damp day in England when we let him go. The ultimate April Fools, we kept expecting him to sit up and laugh shouting "April Fool" but that never happened. Instead my Mother and I sat with him as he drew his last breaths and said our goodbyes.

Dad was only 62 when he left. Some folks get far less time than that and some get more and have done bugger all with it. Not Dad, he beat conscription into the Army to do his National Service at 18 by joining the army at 17. He did two years service before joining the Royal Engineers and deciding he wanted to de-fuse bombs for the next few years. He met my Mother a couple of years after getting out of the army and they were married in '68. I came along in '71 and after all my troubles (Me? Never!!) they decided that was the lot!

I had a great childhood and my parents were always there to guide. My Dad was always a wonderful role model for me and although I never had a bloody clue what I wanted to do and was an academic loss he always supported me and told me there was nothing that I couldn't do so long as I was determined enough. He always told me to go against the grain, don't go with the crowd, think for myself and say what's on my mind...and I did. It didn't make me very popular at school but as he said most of those people will dissolve from life and go away...he was right. He usually was. He loved music, bought me my first drum kit, introduced me to great bands like The Who, ZZ Top, Chuck Berry and Howlin' Wolf. I had only just been taking photos a year when he died, I sure wish he could see what I do now. I know he would have loved to carry my bag and help with photo shoots...I just know he would.

I'm rambling here and probably not making a whole lot of sense. I guess I'm just trying to say that I loved my Dad and was very fortunate to have a relationship with him. I miss that. He and my Mom were here in the States on vacation just three weeks before he died and we had some of the biggest laughs and side splittingly funny moments ever. Those moments are more precious to me than any material thing ever could be, especially as close to his death as they were. Not much time passes me by that I don't think of he and I nearly getting kicked out of a tourist store in San Diego for farting around and being loud...

Four years back seems like a minute ago. It's amazing how quickly it goes by and how we get caught up in life without actually taking the time to "live it". I promised Dad when he was going that I would do that... I'm trying...

ASH
 

Today is an anniversary for me. Today marks both an end and also a beginning. Two years ago today my best friend Spencer lost his brave battle with Leukemia. Two years ago my brother died. Two years ago life without him began.

We had known each other 27 years, came up through the same schools, were raised quite differently but had so many things in common. In our teens we were in a band together. He was a great guitarist who loved Jimmy Page and Hendrix and he had a passion for music that I had never encountered before. Spencer suffered all of his life from Hemophilia; he suffered more pain through this than he ever let on to any of us but he never let it dull his passion for music or dampen his sick and twisted sense of humor. I think that part of my sick humor stems from long term exposure to him over the years! You couldn't help but love him and laugh at his ways! What he lacked in physicality he more than made up for in presence and personality.

He was there for me to get me at the airport when my Dad was dying in hospital. Spen was sick as a dog with cancer, no hair from chemotherapy and two coats on...stood out in the freezing cold to avoid germs, just waiting for my flight to come in and take me to the hospital. Nothing can buy you a friend like that...Nothing. There's not a day goes by that I don't think of him in some way and think of the good times and laugh. I try not to think of the pain he endured in his last months; he would have ridiculed the crap out of me for wasting time thinking that way. I just think of the laughs we shared over the years, the conversations we had and the fact that I loved him like a brother.

Some people fade away when they die but Spencer isn't one of those people. There were and are too many people that knew and loved him for that to happen. All of his friends and family carry a piece of him inside them wherever they are and his memory endures.

If you ever have a friend as good to you as Spencer was to me then you truly are a very fortunate individual. Do yourself a favor, stop to pinch yourself first and then tell your friend that you love them. You may not have the opportunity again.

Here's to you Spen, watching us all from the ether. I miss you mate!

ASH

I woke this morning to read that one of my most favorite artists passed away. Jeff Healey lost his lifelong fight with cancer last night. This saddens me greatly, he was an inspiration to many people on many levels and never blamed his lack of sight or his illnesses for not being able to do what he wanted to. He went ahead and did it. His music saw me through a lot of good and not so good times when I was younger. I have many good times in my life tied to particular songs of the Jeff Healey Band.

My thoughts are with Jeff's family and his many friends in music.