I've come to dislike this time of year very much. Today marks four years since my Father "Alec" slipped away and left us. It was a cold and damp day in England when we let him go. The ultimate April Fools, we kept expecting him to sit up and laugh shouting "April Fool" but that never happened. Instead my Mother and I sat with him as he drew his last breaths and said our goodbyes.

Dad was only 62 when he left. Some folks get far less time than that and some get more and have done bugger all with it. Not Dad, he beat conscription into the Army to do his National Service at 18 by joining the army at 17. He did two years service before joining the Royal Engineers and deciding he wanted to de-fuse bombs for the next few years. He met my Mother a couple of years after getting out of the army and they were married in '68. I came along in '71 and after all my troubles (Me? Never!!) they decided that was the lot!

I had a great childhood and my parents were always there to guide. My Dad was always a wonderful role model for me and although I never had a bloody clue what I wanted to do and was an academic loss he always supported me and told me there was nothing that I couldn't do so long as I was determined enough. He always told me to go against the grain, don't go with the crowd, think for myself and say what's on my mind...and I did. It didn't make me very popular at school but as he said most of those people will dissolve from life and go away...he was right. He usually was. He loved music, bought me my first drum kit, introduced me to great bands like The Who, ZZ Top, Chuck Berry and Howlin' Wolf. I had only just been taking photos a year when he died, I sure wish he could see what I do now. I know he would have loved to carry my bag and help with photo shoots...I just know he would.

I'm rambling here and probably not making a whole lot of sense. I guess I'm just trying to say that I loved my Dad and was very fortunate to have a relationship with him. I miss that. He and my Mom were here in the States on vacation just three weeks before he died and we had some of the biggest laughs and side splittingly funny moments ever. Those moments are more precious to me than any material thing ever could be, especially as close to his death as they were. Not much time passes me by that I don't think of he and I nearly getting kicked out of a tourist store in San Diego for farting around and being loud...

Four years back seems like a minute ago. It's amazing how quickly it goes by and how we get caught up in life without actually taking the time to "live it". I promised Dad when he was going that I would do that... I'm trying...

ASH